Digging Out of That Ditch

June 26, 2017

Dear friends, 

I’m about to share a struggle. (You’ve been given fair warning.) My hope in sharing is that it will help someone else out there who’s struggling too; and also (selfishly), I hope that if I just tell a whole lot of people, I’ll get my act together. I’ve also been asked a lot how my running is going when I see people I haven’t seen in a while. So, I thought it was time to share.

*deeeep breath*

I’ve put on twenty pounds since last summer. Just like that…boom, there it is. Gosh, that stings; but I can no longer deny it. I can no longer tell myself “I’ll just be extra, extra good for the next couple of weeks, and it’ll be gone.” You know what actually happens when I set myself up with ridiculous goals like that? I fall hard & fast…just as fast as you can say PASTRY.

Now I have a GREAT excuse…or so I like to tell myself. Due to some severe osteoarthritis in my knee, I haven’t been able to run for six months. Heck, I can’t even go for a power walk these days, because it hurts for days afterwards. I SO miss my running friends, and those amazing happy endorphins that come from a great run. Good news: I’m taking the medical steps needed to try & fix the problem. I WILL be okay. It’s just going to take some time. Bad new: I’ve allowed it to become an excuse to workout very little, make poor food choices, and sometimes feel pretty sorry for myself. What did I think was going to happen? Of course I gained weight! Of course my energy has been low. When you fill your body with garbage, you are just not going to feel great! It’s funny when you know all the right things to do; but you choose to not do them anyway. Not really funny at all, is it? But yet it happens.

Sooo…. The next time I walk into Target, I know I’ll feel that all-familiar pull towards the candy aisle; but I’m not giving in. Lord help me, I’m not. I need to stop this before I’ve put on the full fifty pounds I lost in the first place. Enough is enough. Interestingly, I make mostly really good choices in the grocery store, in large part because I usually do my grocery shopping early in the morning. It’s those quick trips to Target or the drug store in the afternoon hours that get me into the most trouble. I should be banned from stores in the afternoon hours. Hah!

I know some of you are on this highway to the danger zone right along side me. We really CAN steer ourselves out of this ditch. We CAN beat this thing. We just can’t go ANYWHERE until we get out of the darned passenger seat! 

Telling my story when I’m still stuck in the middle of the ditch is probably not the norm, and maybe a little weird. I think we usually wait to tell our story until we’re back on the road or sometimes not until we reach our destination. I’m digging my way out of this ditch using every tool I can get my hands on, and one of those tools for me is to TELL people that I’m struggling. To be real, and transparent, and honest. 

I WILL find my way again. I have to. YOU can too! Don’t ever think you’re too far gone, or too weak, or hopeless. You CAN…because you ARE worth it. Let’s do it together!